The Montalegumes and the Cholesterolets
PETA’s Play on Romeo and Juliet
The holidays are a time for family, food, and—let’s face it—arguments over what (or rather who) is on the table. But no one feels the pressure more than vegans trying to navigate mealtime with their meat-loving relatives. Enter PETA, here to smooth things over with a 21st-century spin on the classic love story Romeo and Juliet. In our version, the star-crossed lovers come from rival families: the plant-powered Montalegumes and the carnivorous Cholesterolets.
Our tongue-in-cheek play is the perfect tool for vegans to share with their stubborn carnivore kin, defusing tension with laughter instead of, well, judgmental side-eye. With more people going vegan than ever, our play serves as a timely reminder for Cholesterolet families to stop ostracizing relatives for leaving animals in peace.
Meet the Montalegumes
The Montalegumes are a clan of compassionate vegans who wouldn’t hurt a fly but who fiercely fight for a world without speciesism. They loathe the meat-loving Cholesterolets almost as much as dirty dairy or the “humane meat” myth. Romeo, the young heartthrob of the family, dreams of a love as pure as the soy milk he drinks, blissfully unaware that feelings might soon sprout in his heart for someone from the Montalegumes’ rival clan.
Meet the Cholesterolets
The Cholesterolets are a clan of carnivores who relish steaks as rare as any concern they might have for animals or the Montalegume family. Just like their arteries, their love for meat and hate for the Montalegumes have only hardened over time. They dream of a day when their beloved Juliet will marry a beefy man at the slaughterhouse (as long as it’s not that soy boy Romeo from the Montalegume clan).
“O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy slaughter and renew my plate. I’ve embraced the vegan life that you proclaim, and I’ll no longer be a Cholesterolet.”
—Juliet Cholesterolet
“Do you snap your asparagus at us, sir?”
—Abram
“But oh, what great protein do nuts and legumes contain? It is my plate, and Juliet is the wealth of tasty, nutrient-dense vegan options available to us at every meal.”
—Romeo Montalegume
“These passionate delights can have explosive ends, like milk and cheese for a lactose intolerant person—one minute you’re in bliss, and the next, it’s a chaotic mess.”
—Friar Lawrence
Download PETA’s Free Play!
Ready to enjoy this tasty parody? Download your free copy today and share it with friends and family for the holidays!
